Coldest Temperature Ever Recorded In Iowa

Alright, gather 'round, folks. I've got a tale to spin about the time Iowa decided to play a game of 'Let's see how cold we can get.' Now, I'm not talking about a light chill, like when your mom says you're not wearing enough layers. No, no, no. This was the big leagues of cold. The kind that makes penguins say, "Whoa, that's a bit nippy, even for us."

Enter the Scene: January 20, 1985

Picture this: it's the mid-80s, Ronald Reagan is in the White House, 'The Breakfast Club' is hitting theaters, and Iowa is about to make weather history. Now, I'm not saying the cold snap was Reagan's fault - I mean, he had a lot on his plate - but you know, cause and effect, yada yada yada.

So, there's this little town called Coon Rapids. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Coon Rapids? Isn't that where they make the best... never mind. Focus, man!" Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to the point. So, Coon Rapids, population: not that many, but enough to matter. And on this fateful day, the mercury in their thermometers decided to take a dive. A big one.

And the Winner Is... -20°F (-29°C)

That's right, folks. Coon Rapids hit the big -20°F (-29°C). Now, for those of you who live in warmer climes, let me paint you a picture. It's so cold, your nose hairs freeze and fall off. Your dog's breath fogs up like a dragon's, and you can see the heat shimmering off the pavement... because it's so cold, it's heating up.

But here's where it gets crazy. You know how they say, "It's so cold, even the snow is cold?" Well, in Coon Rapids that day, it was so cold, the snow was hot. Okay, okay, that's a lie. But it was really cold.

Surviving the Chill

Now, you might be thinking, "How did the good folks of Coon Rapids survive this polar vortex on steroids?" Well, they didn't melt into little ice sculptures, if that's what you're asking. They bundled up, turned up the heat, and did what any sensible Iowan would do: they drank hot chocolate.

And the best part? They didn't even have to worry about the hot chocolate freezing on its way from the mug to their mouths. That's right, folks. It was so cold, the hot chocolate was already frozen when it hit their lips. I kid, I kid. But seriously, it was cold.

And the Moral of the Story?

So, what can we learn from this tale of frostbite and frozen hot chocolate? Well, a few things. One, Iowa can get really cold. Two, when it comes to weather, Mother Nature doesn't mess around. And three, if you ever find yourself in Coon Rapids on January 20, pack a parka and some long johns.

And there you have it, folks. The coldest temperature ever recorded in Iowa. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in a sauna and pretend I'm in a tropical paradise. Brrr...