How To Catch A Pocket Gopher

So, there I was, minding my own business in the garden, when suddenly, the earth began to move. No, it wasn't an earthquake, it was a pocket gopher, going about its daily business of turning my neatly kept lawn into a miniature version of the moon's surface. I'd heard they were hard to catch, but I was determined to give it a shot. And that, my friends, is how I found myself on a mission to catch a pocket gopher.

Why Catch a Pocket Gopher?

Before we dive into the how, let's talk about the why. Pocket gophers, with their cute little pouches and beady eyes, might seem like adorable little creatures. And they are, until they start tunneling under your garden, damaging your plants, and making your lawn look like a war zone.

They're also known to carry diseases that can be harmful to pets and humans. So, while we might not want to harm them, catching and relocating them can be a necessary evil. Plus, it's a fun challenge, right? Like a real-life game of whack-a-mole, but with fewer moles and more gophers.

Understanding Your Enemy

Before you can catch a pocket gopher, you need to understand its habits. These little critters are mostly active during the day, unlike their nighttime cousins, the moles. They're also quite territorial, so you'll usually find them in the same area day after day.

They create complex tunnel systems, with multiple entrances and exits. These tunnels can be up to 20 inches below the surface, so you'll need to be patient and persistent to catch them.

Gather Your Tools

Now that you know what you're up against, it's time to gather your tools. You'll need:

• Shovel
• Gloves
• Bucket
• Traps (optional, but recommended)
• Patience (lots of it)

Note: If you're using traps, make sure they're humane and designed specifically for pocket gophers. We want to catch, not harm.

Let the Games Begin

Alright, you've got your tools, you know your enemy, now it's time to catch that pesky gopher. Here's how:

Step 1: Find the Entrance

Look for fresh mounds of dirt. These are your entrance points. Pocket gophers push dirt out of their tunnels, creating these mounds. The fresher the mound, the more active the tunnel.

Step 2: Dig Carefully

Using your shovel, carefully dig around the mound. You want to create a small pit around the entrance, but be careful not to collapse the tunnel. Remember, you're trying to catch a gopher, not bury it alive.

Pro tip: If you're not sure where to dig, you can use a probe to feel around for the tunnel. It's like playing a real-life game of Minesweeper, but with less explosions and more dirt.

Step 3: Set Your Trap

If you're using a trap, set it at the entrance of the tunnel. Make sure it's secure and won't be dislodged by the gopher's movements. If you're not using a trap, you can try to dig down to the tunnel and wait for the gopher to come to you.

Warning: If you decide to dig down to the tunnel, be prepared for a wait. Pocket gophers are not stupid. They'll know something's up and might take their time coming out.

Step 4: Wait and Patience

Now comes the hard part - waiting. Pocket gophers are not in a hurry, so you might be waiting a while. Use this time to reflect on your life choices that led you to this point.

Pro tip: Bring a book or a podcast to keep yourself entertained. Just make sure it's not something that will make you laugh out loud and scare the gopher away.

Step 5: Catch That Gopher!

When the gopher finally decides to make an appearance, be ready. If you're using a trap, it should spring shut as soon as the gopher enters. If you're not using a trap, be prepared to act quickly and carefully. Remember, you want to catch, not harm.

What to Do With Your Catch

Congratulations, you've caught a pocket gopher! Now what? The humane thing to do is relocate it. Find a suitable spot far away from your garden, dig a new tunnel, and release the gopher.

Note: Make sure the new spot is away from other gardens and has plenty of food and water. We want the gopher to survive, just not in our gardens.

Prevention is Key

Catching a pocket gopher is one thing, but preventing them from coming back is another. Here are a few tips:

• Keep your lawn short and well-watered. Pocket gophers prefer long, dry grass.
• Plant gopher-resistant plants. There are plenty of options out there that these little critters tend to avoid.
• Use physical barriers. A barrier of hardware cloth or metal sheeting can deter gophers from entering your garden.

And there you have it, folks. The art of catching a pocket gopher. It's not easy, but with a little patience and a lot of determination, you too can become a gopher-catching pro.

Disclaimer: Always remember, we're dealing with living creatures here. Be humane, be patient, and be respectful of their home, even if they're not so respectful of yours.